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Toynbee Tile

by Dan Cooper

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Thomas Muddle
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H. Longsail
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Galen
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1.
Fool 03:04
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I’d come and knock your door off My little ray of Milhouse You in your awful prom dress We would be full of bloody beans Courtesy curfews overseeing us It doesn’t work for sleep or home Abducted by the breeze Float in memories and memes On the picnic shade of the meadow Who plays the fool? Who plays the fool best? Promoting aspirations to play dead Flocking to a pilgrimage of dread Haunted weather in our gestures Formed from our ancestors adventures Who plays the fool? Who plays the fool best? These already are the old days Ashen grey with mushroom soup Aping on the final dime I sure miss having two pockets Laundering our problems The clean sheets are our template Ours to transcribe and translate Sign my name on your insurance Who plays the fool? Who plays the fool best? Promoting aspirations to play dead Flocking to a pilgrimage of dread Haunted weather in our gestures Formed from our ancestors adventures Who plays the fool? Who plays the fool best?
2.
This Is Linda 03:41
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This is Linda And she exists In all four corners of the state This is Linda And she is brutal And she will eat your face This is Linda She came to me in a dream Sharper than the masters knife Cigarette coupons kept on site Kamikaze bikers wait by the gates All she’ll offer is a broken chair A liars tax on tear ducts in the lair She pulls on your hair And gnashes her teeth And you just have to wait it out This is Linda Birthed from the fox And other woodland creatures She prowls the streets Keeps all her receipts Possessed by the desert Her cloth unprecedented stone Those in the know forgo their reminder This is Linda And she is toothache This is Linda A walk in bathtub A walk in bathtub full of hate This is Linda She came to me in a dream Sterner than the masters rule With her stubs held in the pages Barb wire eyes, spitting rays of 5G All she’ll offer is a broken chair A liars tax on tearducts in the lair She tweaks on your ear And spills on your shirt And you just have to wait it out This is Linda Shes an arguement You never wanted to have You drink the guilt You sink the bleach But nothing will get you clean From Linda From Linda This is Linda Nothing will get you clean This is Linda She came to me in a dream Ruder than a stag mans night An evil eulogy seethes in fright Warty soliders wait on the step All she’ll offer is a broken chair A liars tax on tearducts in the lair She’ll spend all of you She’s your new reflection And you just have to wait it out This is Linda
3.
Your Way 03:10
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Billy mops the floor for the last time Locks the door for the last time Takes off his hat, combs his hair back Says “You have to be told to care not asked” Sees a seseme seed on the street Sits on a bench, starts to read The leaflet that’s been handed him Focus starts to drift to a pigeon Am I no longer worth my badge Can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my Dad Show must continue So what’s the issue How can no-body want you When you’re on the menu Was my career just a game of roulette Gun to my head, with the time as the bullet Sun set over the shopping arcade Billy checks if he’s been paid His memories in retrograde Will he ever trust again Now I tempt tact instead of relax Have it your way Now I step back when you need a catch Have it your way Now I check facts when you’re adament Have It your way How did I ever get so attached Have It your way Now I tempt tact instead of relax Have it your way Now I step back when you need a catch Have it your way Now I check facts when you’re adament Have It your way How did I ever get so attached Have It your way Billy opens the door to his flat Slams it shut, greets the cat Takes his hat out his bag And throws it on the couch Stretches out and grabs the remote Local news, it’s hard to swallow All he sees is rendundancy Starts to cry in front of the TV Am I no longer worth my badge Can’t tell me what to do, you’re not my Dad Show must continue So what’s the issue How can no-body want you When you’re on the menu My career as a flacid asset A burn in my gut like stomach acid Now he can see the game Dedicated days to the chain Underground king of the public domain Their loss will be Bily’s gain Now I tempt tact instead of relax Have it your way Now I step back when you need a catch Have it your way Now I check facts when you’re adament Have It your way How did we ever get so attached Have It your way Now when asked I feel taxed Have it your way Not enough cash in a rough patch Have it your way I’m prepared for a rematch Have It your way How did I ever get so attached Have It your way
4.
Aldi Shiraz 02:05
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It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz Took too long to find the eggplant emoji And now the moments gone Using my loaf in a gloomy future Slick pink of polished coral The wolfs at the door And the bills in the bin Unleash our prohibitions This is what we sing Out on the watch For the bottle top cops Jog for a job And get that mop chopped It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz Improve your groove With the rare and the beautiful A loving spoonful, unusually useful A flawed assurance Taught though as abroad A school of thought In how to be bored A forced extortion An exhausted person Introverted A secret service Out on the watch For the bottle top cops Jog for a job And get that mop chopped It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz It’s the last of the Aldi Shiraz Last of the Aldi Shiraz
5.
Camp Nathan (featuring Chris Boman) 03:05
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6.
Butt Pics 02:15
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Send me butt pics Give me body sweats Wanna get my butt kicked Speak my body sense More than body friends Weighing up the dividends I’d pay a million Posterier brilliant In the bathtub In the shower Send me a butt pic Every hour Make it soapy I’ll keep it low key Wile E Coyote Singing karaoke Butt Pics Butt Pics Butt Pics Send me Butt Pics Butt Pics Butt Pics Butt Pics Pictures of your bottom Send me butt pics Cos I love them Wanna put them buns in my oven Have a bakers dozen Wanna nuzzle ‘em Kiss your sweet cheeks And cuddle ‘em Be wide angle Or a pin hole Please can I save to my camera roll I won’t keep them I’ll delete them After I’ve licked my screen - yum! Butt Pics Butt Pics Butt Pics Send me Butt Pics Butt Pics Butt Pics Butt Pics Pictures of your bottom Send me butt pics If you wanna For diagnostics Oxford comma Make me a gonner With a fried mind Adoring the glory Of your behind In the garden In the shed Send me a jpeg Of your rear end Cos I love you And I miss you So send me Butt Pics and a pack of tissues
7.
Radio One 01:11
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8.
Nodding Dog 04:22
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You were my peach preserve My perfect petal My touchy nerve My heavy metal Stomach grumbles Heart murmers They tell me I didn’t deserve her My nirvana My libido She’s cinemon sweet I’m a cheap Cheeto Gimbles thimbles Fishing for root beer At the root canal Bailed out the dog house But the doubt shouts round the roundabout Won’t find truffles in this trough Tell me to clear off And you can chew my ear off But I’ll still be your nodding dog High tailed out the slaughter house Thou shalt wear the daughters blouse Willfully wanting never enough Tell me to veer off, steer off But you can’t glue this ornament ‘Cos I’ll still be your nodding dog You were my tide to turn My terrible chemical Your cat got my tongue And my stolen medals Bed and breakfast She burnt it They tell me I earned it My double denim My pizza necklace She’s summer freckles I’m summed up as feckless Grimacing timber Kissing hers out the window For the foreseeable future I don’t fancy seeing the bigger picture I’ve got demons in my boiler They drink my dirty water They think they’re in paradise Mans got a thermos in the rave We don’t act our age like we did in the old days We’re having light bulb moments Discussing which bulbs got the best components Bailed out the dog house But the doubt shouts round the roundabout Won’t find truffles in this trough Tell me to clear off And you can chew my ear off But I’ll still be your nodding dog High tailed out the slaughter house Thou shalt wear the daughters blouse Willfully wanting never enough Tell me to veer off, steer off But you can’t glue this ornament ‘Cos I’ll still be your nodding dog
9.
This Country 03:30
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10.
Sick Fade 01:47
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Why didn’t you pick up What you dropped in the park Didn’t wanna hang around In that hellscape I took some home It smelt of damp biscuits Kind of like Rich Teas Dipped in Lemonade It does not move The Citrus whimsy The Fizzy tea The candles, the music Stimulated but mottled like Expensive lint on a long sleeve that’s been Ironed to a crisp No more fan mail for that Paws arthritic The Mute squad Too slow to disco A sliced loaf of worm hole Blackmail is orange Rebirth is painful Revival hurts The riddles in the unhoisted mast A condesending beam Bonzo goes to Cheltenham Love in his voice When his brain goes dry He makes a small pond An officers mess He’ll bring someone home soon And they’ll smell like wet cookies They can stand in his garden Drinking the pancake lemon juice No more bragging The pool is quiet The main puzzle is not cut It’s History’s fault We tried to save those community activities Send feedback

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released May 1, 2020

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Dan Cooper UK

Took too long to find the eggplant emoji and now the moment's gone.

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